tired of feeling this way
ive had a lot on my mind lately. been thinking about my future, and what to do next after i graduate from ucsd. ive decided NOT to apply to ucla, for the simple reason that i'm not motivated enough to apply there...i guess its because the deadline just came upon me, right after the holidays...that and i guess i did not find out enough info for myself to be fully interested and excited about going there. i feel bad cuz the letters of recommendation i got for there are all going to waste. but no worries...i will apply to other schools, especially since their deadlines arent until may. but i have also been considering trying out Teach for America to see how that is. in addition, i'm kinda worrying about taking the cset on jan 24. i've been reviewing a few things for it...but still, i'm not fully motivated about taking it either.

work is another issue on my mind. i was not picked up by macy's to work there...i wanted to work there for a few months to make a few extra bucks, but their budget would not accomodate me working there...so as of this coming friday, i will be back to working 1 job...being an ATC...which is also endangered by cutbacks by the governator.

adding to all this...i still got the whole LDR issue on my mind. i still like her...and apparently she still likes me (we went out on sunday night after i got off work, and it was confirmed by our mutual friend that she still likes me)...but still, its weighing heavily on my mind. i know i should worry about other things, but i dunno, this is still on my mind. am i stupid for liking someone who lives so far away from me? how did i start liking someone so fast? i guess i fell into the trap that haunts everybody who is single and willing to mingle. but damn it, i do like her. somebody slap me! =p

but i guess life could be worse. my friend Rachelle from high school lost her father today when his truck fell off the coronado bridge. i remember seeing him around whenever i would visit their house during high school, before they moved to san marcos. we didnt talk much, but i do remember having a little chat with him when she had her debut party in her side yard for her 18th birthday. my condolences to the Casinio family for their loss. =(

ok...think happy thoughts...kinda hard to do that when so many things are weighing heavily on my mind right now. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =/