APSA Talent Show Tryouts
sitting here waiting for acts to try out for the talent show...and Ibsen is sitting next to me trying to send me "norcal" music. she's saying that i dont update this thing much any more, so this post is dedicated to her. right now she is standing in front of us on mohan's skateboard and wiggling back and forth. mizuki just climbed up on a table, but as she was attempting to table dance for us, she fell and tried to play it off like nobody noticed...but i noticed. Ian is sitting way at the end of the room doing his tagalog homework, which is what i should be doing right now. Mohan is grubbin on price center crap, Brian is passed out...Serey is bored looking, Joseph is doing his dance routine since i'm playing Aaliyah's "Try Again" on my computer as i type this... and Edsel is...well...Edsel is doing i dunno what. damn...i woke up too damn early to come here, 730am so i can get here by 8...what makes it worse is that i was up til 530ish...ah well, fun was had last night. ok...imma try to do some tagalog hw before the next act comes in to tryout. ehh...never mind, the next act just showed up. stay tuned...we'll be back ater these messages =p
Saturday, January 31, 2004
Monday, January 26, 2004
cset
so i took the cset test yesterday...a test that will determine my qualifications to teach a certain subject...in this case, biology. i dont think i did very well, a lot of the questions were very confusing to me. i admit that i should have studied a little bit more, but once again, it went down to proper motivation. i did not feel motivated to study much for this test...not that i didnt study cuz i did, i just didnt study a lot. but i dunno...i feel like a high school senior all over again, and my motivation is slipping. i still wanna teach, but im thinking now that i wanna teach history, since i have a lot of experience with it...i mean i am an ethnic studies minor (which deals with history)...so i think i may be better suited to teach that, and try to get students to think critically about things theyve been brainwashed to believe. Teach for America apps are due in 2 1/2 weeks...must get working on what i have left to do for it...trust me, i shall get this app in...i am motivated to at least try for it...we shall see where my teaching path will take me. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =l
so i took the cset test yesterday...a test that will determine my qualifications to teach a certain subject...in this case, biology. i dont think i did very well, a lot of the questions were very confusing to me. i admit that i should have studied a little bit more, but once again, it went down to proper motivation. i did not feel motivated to study much for this test...not that i didnt study cuz i did, i just didnt study a lot. but i dunno...i feel like a high school senior all over again, and my motivation is slipping. i still wanna teach, but im thinking now that i wanna teach history, since i have a lot of experience with it...i mean i am an ethnic studies minor (which deals with history)...so i think i may be better suited to teach that, and try to get students to think critically about things theyve been brainwashed to believe. Teach for America apps are due in 2 1/2 weeks...must get working on what i have left to do for it...trust me, i shall get this app in...i am motivated to at least try for it...we shall see where my teaching path will take me. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =l
Thursday, January 22, 2004
Monday, January 19, 2004
moving on
ive accepted it...time to move on. she went back up north, and i guess we just decided just to be friends. yeah im confused about the whole issue, but i guess its time to move on. no more dwelling on it...i should be thinking about other things. must do well in school so i can graduate...must get accepted into grad schools/programs...then i will think about a very solitary part of my life...my love life. yes it sucks...but hopefully i will survive. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =l
ive accepted it...time to move on. she went back up north, and i guess we just decided just to be friends. yeah im confused about the whole issue, but i guess its time to move on. no more dwelling on it...i should be thinking about other things. must do well in school so i can graduate...must get accepted into grad schools/programs...then i will think about a very solitary part of my life...my love life. yes it sucks...but hopefully i will survive. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =l
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
tired of feeling this way
ive had a lot on my mind lately. been thinking about my future, and what to do next after i graduate from ucsd. ive decided NOT to apply to ucla, for the simple reason that i'm not motivated enough to apply there...i guess its because the deadline just came upon me, right after the holidays...that and i guess i did not find out enough info for myself to be fully interested and excited about going there. i feel bad cuz the letters of recommendation i got for there are all going to waste. but no worries...i will apply to other schools, especially since their deadlines arent until may. but i have also been considering trying out Teach for America to see how that is. in addition, i'm kinda worrying about taking the cset on jan 24. i've been reviewing a few things for it...but still, i'm not fully motivated about taking it either.
work is another issue on my mind. i was not picked up by macy's to work there...i wanted to work there for a few months to make a few extra bucks, but their budget would not accomodate me working there...so as of this coming friday, i will be back to working 1 job...being an ATC...which is also endangered by cutbacks by the governator.
adding to all this...i still got the whole LDR issue on my mind. i still like her...and apparently she still likes me (we went out on sunday night after i got off work, and it was confirmed by our mutual friend that she still likes me)...but still, its weighing heavily on my mind. i know i should worry about other things, but i dunno, this is still on my mind. am i stupid for liking someone who lives so far away from me? how did i start liking someone so fast? i guess i fell into the trap that haunts everybody who is single and willing to mingle. but damn it, i do like her. somebody slap me! =p
but i guess life could be worse. my friend Rachelle from high school lost her father today when his truck fell off the coronado bridge. i remember seeing him around whenever i would visit their house during high school, before they moved to san marcos. we didnt talk much, but i do remember having a little chat with him when she had her debut party in her side yard for her 18th birthday. my condolences to the Casinio family for their loss. =(
ok...think happy thoughts...kinda hard to do that when so many things are weighing heavily on my mind right now. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =/
ive had a lot on my mind lately. been thinking about my future, and what to do next after i graduate from ucsd. ive decided NOT to apply to ucla, for the simple reason that i'm not motivated enough to apply there...i guess its because the deadline just came upon me, right after the holidays...that and i guess i did not find out enough info for myself to be fully interested and excited about going there. i feel bad cuz the letters of recommendation i got for there are all going to waste. but no worries...i will apply to other schools, especially since their deadlines arent until may. but i have also been considering trying out Teach for America to see how that is. in addition, i'm kinda worrying about taking the cset on jan 24. i've been reviewing a few things for it...but still, i'm not fully motivated about taking it either.
work is another issue on my mind. i was not picked up by macy's to work there...i wanted to work there for a few months to make a few extra bucks, but their budget would not accomodate me working there...so as of this coming friday, i will be back to working 1 job...being an ATC...which is also endangered by cutbacks by the governator.
adding to all this...i still got the whole LDR issue on my mind. i still like her...and apparently she still likes me (we went out on sunday night after i got off work, and it was confirmed by our mutual friend that she still likes me)...but still, its weighing heavily on my mind. i know i should worry about other things, but i dunno, this is still on my mind. am i stupid for liking someone who lives so far away from me? how did i start liking someone so fast? i guess i fell into the trap that haunts everybody who is single and willing to mingle. but damn it, i do like her. somebody slap me! =p
but i guess life could be worse. my friend Rachelle from high school lost her father today when his truck fell off the coronado bridge. i remember seeing him around whenever i would visit their house during high school, before they moved to san marcos. we didnt talk much, but i do remember having a little chat with him when she had her debut party in her side yard for her 18th birthday. my condolences to the Casinio family for their loss. =(
ok...think happy thoughts...kinda hard to do that when so many things are weighing heavily on my mind right now. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =/
Sunday, January 11, 2004
ok...maybe i should stop being so damn vague
but i wanna put this onto something so i can at least remember....and since i do not have a journal, i might as well use this place as my place to remember my life. fuck it, who cares if anyone reads this, i need a place to talk, and this will be it...
so for the past week or so, i have been seeing someone. the way it started out was not the way i would normally do things. well...when we first met, it was in october at friendship games. it was a quick introduction by a mutual friend...and i didnt think anything of it...i pretty much doubted that i would see her again since she lives up in norcal. so i continue on with life...and then one day she comes down to visit with our mutual friend. we meet up, and just chill with a bunch of people. the next day, she ims me and we chat online for awhile, and agree to have lunch together the next day. lunch happens, and we enjoy each others company. i then go to class, thinking "wow, what a cool person!" we meet up later that night, cuz i wasnt feeling my grad school applications. we chill, and we talk about random things. and i guess, we find out that we have feelings for each other. the week goes on, and we continue to see each other...and apparently we grow to like each other more (at least i do). the way i usually am is that i am careful about who knows what is going on in my love life. but yeah, some people start seeing us together. so yeah, things seem great and happy...only problem is, she's heading back north soon...and distance is a factor. I HATE LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS! but for some reason, i was willing to experiment with one. however, as we talked about it, and what to do next, i saw that an LDR is not what she could handle. so basically, after a long talk tonight...it for the most part...ended. i wasnt exactly too happy about this...but what else could i do? we're still friends (i think)...but the feelings are still there on both sides (so she says). i just wanna be happy damnit! so once again, i must move on with my life...life fuckin sucks!
i cant believe i just typed this all out...but i dunno...i tend to hold things in. and make it seem like everything is normal, and i prolly woulda held this all in if i didnt type it out. sometimes i wish i had an ATC to talk things through...damn, why do i have to be the ATC? where's my ATC when i need him? damn it jesson, come back to sd! =p
ok...enough of this, im heading to sleep forreals. stay tuned..we'll be back after these messages =/
but i wanna put this onto something so i can at least remember....and since i do not have a journal, i might as well use this place as my place to remember my life. fuck it, who cares if anyone reads this, i need a place to talk, and this will be it...
so for the past week or so, i have been seeing someone. the way it started out was not the way i would normally do things. well...when we first met, it was in october at friendship games. it was a quick introduction by a mutual friend...and i didnt think anything of it...i pretty much doubted that i would see her again since she lives up in norcal. so i continue on with life...and then one day she comes down to visit with our mutual friend. we meet up, and just chill with a bunch of people. the next day, she ims me and we chat online for awhile, and agree to have lunch together the next day. lunch happens, and we enjoy each others company. i then go to class, thinking "wow, what a cool person!" we meet up later that night, cuz i wasnt feeling my grad school applications. we chill, and we talk about random things. and i guess, we find out that we have feelings for each other. the week goes on, and we continue to see each other...and apparently we grow to like each other more (at least i do). the way i usually am is that i am careful about who knows what is going on in my love life. but yeah, some people start seeing us together. so yeah, things seem great and happy...only problem is, she's heading back north soon...and distance is a factor. I HATE LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS! but for some reason, i was willing to experiment with one. however, as we talked about it, and what to do next, i saw that an LDR is not what she could handle. so basically, after a long talk tonight...it for the most part...ended. i wasnt exactly too happy about this...but what else could i do? we're still friends (i think)...but the feelings are still there on both sides (so she says). i just wanna be happy damnit! so once again, i must move on with my life...life fuckin sucks!
i cant believe i just typed this all out...but i dunno...i tend to hold things in. and make it seem like everything is normal, and i prolly woulda held this all in if i didnt type it out. sometimes i wish i had an ATC to talk things through...damn, why do i have to be the ATC? where's my ATC when i need him? damn it jesson, come back to sd! =p
ok...enough of this, im heading to sleep forreals. stay tuned..we'll be back after these messages =/
i just love...
the way that life has a funny and great way of turning around and kicking you right in the nuts, right as it was seeming great. to what am i refering to? 2 things...for 1 of them, see the =( things in the 2003 year in review (no...nobody died, and it has nothing to do with school)...let's just say that things have a funny way of repeating themselves year after year. the other thing deals with my plans for work. am i feeling sorry for myself? maybe...am i gonna do anything about it? prolly not...im just gonna go to sleep now cuz life fuckin sucks right about now! GOOD NIGHT! stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =/
the way that life has a funny and great way of turning around and kicking you right in the nuts, right as it was seeming great. to what am i refering to? 2 things...for 1 of them, see the =( things in the 2003 year in review (no...nobody died, and it has nothing to do with school)...let's just say that things have a funny way of repeating themselves year after year. the other thing deals with my plans for work. am i feeling sorry for myself? maybe...am i gonna do anything about it? prolly not...im just gonna go to sleep now cuz life fuckin sucks right about now! GOOD NIGHT! stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =/
Sunday, January 04, 2004
the last day of my last winter break at ucsd
is today. guess who had work today? yup, me. worked 1045-730. opened and closed macys. what a way to spend the last day of my break. oh well...school starts again tomorrow. i need 1 more week. another week and a half til ucla apps are due. do i still wanna go? 3 weeks til cset. am i ready? i just need to get through the month of january, and i should be ok. taking a leave of absence from apsa board for the month of january. must prepare myself for my future. what does my future hold? stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =/
is today. guess who had work today? yup, me. worked 1045-730. opened and closed macys. what a way to spend the last day of my break. oh well...school starts again tomorrow. i need 1 more week. another week and a half til ucla apps are due. do i still wanna go? 3 weeks til cset. am i ready? i just need to get through the month of january, and i should be ok. taking a leave of absence from apsa board for the month of january. must prepare myself for my future. what does my future hold? stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =/