friends
since this is my forum, i decided that i needed to discuss something thats been bothering me...if this offends people somehow, well i guess thats the way things have to be, this is how i feel right now. no names will be mentioned...but feel free to comment.

sometimes i wonder who are my real friends. thats what i have been thinking about all weekend. people who i thought have been good friends have lately been making me question whether or not they really are good friends. certain conversations ive had with certain people in APSA last week really got me thinking about this. when someone you think is a friend is going away for awhile and has a little get together to say goodbye, wouldnt you think they would invite everyone they consider a friend, including you? but then you could say that maybe they had no way of contacting you. but what if you were one of the easiest persons to get a hold of? what then? another question to ponder...wouldnt you think that other friends who know about said "get together" would talk about it openly around you instead of playing it off like its someone you dont know? or would they ask you something like "are you invited?" as if theyre surprised that you know about it? these types of things would make it seem like you're not allowed to say goodbye. with that said, i missed my opportunity to say goodbye to a friend of mine (or at least someone who i had considered a friend...but what does she consider me?) this weekend. the above said circumstances came into play last week, and as a result, i didnt feel like i was welcome to say goodbye. sound stupid? well, to me it wasnt. sometimes i feel like people who i just barely met have been better friends lately than people who i have known all throughout college. this isnt to say that im walking away from any friendships, or that other people have walked away from their friendship with me. im just questioning how they view their friendships with me, or if they value their friendships with me as i value my friendships with them. putting it in simpler terms..am i wasting my time in being their friend? i hope not. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =/