APSA Talent Show Tryouts
sitting here waiting for acts to try out for the talent show...and Ibsen is sitting next to me trying to send me "norcal" music. she's saying that i dont update this thing much any more, so this post is dedicated to her. right now she is standing in front of us on mohan's skateboard and wiggling back and forth. mizuki just climbed up on a table, but as she was attempting to table dance for us, she fell and tried to play it off like nobody noticed...but i noticed. Ian is sitting way at the end of the room doing his tagalog homework, which is what i should be doing right now. Mohan is grubbin on price center crap, Brian is passed out...Serey is bored looking, Joseph is doing his dance routine since i'm playing Aaliyah's "Try Again" on my computer as i type this... and Edsel is...well...Edsel is doing i dunno what. damn...i woke up too damn early to come here, 730am so i can get here by 8...what makes it worse is that i was up til 530ish...ah well, fun was had last night. ok...imma try to do some tagalog hw before the next act comes in to tryout. ehh...never mind, the next act just showed up. stay tuned...we'll be back ater these messages =p

cset
so i took the cset test yesterday...a test that will determine my qualifications to teach a certain subject...in this case, biology. i dont think i did very well, a lot of the questions were very confusing to me. i admit that i should have studied a little bit more, but once again, it went down to proper motivation. i did not feel motivated to study much for this test...not that i didnt study cuz i did, i just didnt study a lot. but i dunno...i feel like a high school senior all over again, and my motivation is slipping. i still wanna teach, but im thinking now that i wanna teach history, since i have a lot of experience with it...i mean i am an ethnic studies minor (which deals with history)...so i think i may be better suited to teach that, and try to get students to think critically about things theyve been brainwashed to believe. Teach for America apps are due in 2 1/2 weeks...must get working on what i have left to do for it...trust me, i shall get this app in...i am motivated to at least try for it...we shall see where my teaching path will take me. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =l

happy 24th birthday to the other jeff...jeff baker who is on the other side of the world in Japan...you suhh are an old fart! =p

moving on
ive accepted it...time to move on. she went back up north, and i guess we just decided just to be friends. yeah im confused about the whole issue, but i guess its time to move on. no more dwelling on it...i should be thinking about other things. must do well in school so i can graduate...must get accepted into grad schools/programs...then i will think about a very solitary part of my life...my love life. yes it sucks...but hopefully i will survive. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =l

tired of feeling this way
ive had a lot on my mind lately. been thinking about my future, and what to do next after i graduate from ucsd. ive decided NOT to apply to ucla, for the simple reason that i'm not motivated enough to apply there...i guess its because the deadline just came upon me, right after the holidays...that and i guess i did not find out enough info for myself to be fully interested and excited about going there. i feel bad cuz the letters of recommendation i got for there are all going to waste. but no worries...i will apply to other schools, especially since their deadlines arent until may. but i have also been considering trying out Teach for America to see how that is. in addition, i'm kinda worrying about taking the cset on jan 24. i've been reviewing a few things for it...but still, i'm not fully motivated about taking it either.

work is another issue on my mind. i was not picked up by macy's to work there...i wanted to work there for a few months to make a few extra bucks, but their budget would not accomodate me working there...so as of this coming friday, i will be back to working 1 job...being an ATC...which is also endangered by cutbacks by the governator.

adding to all this...i still got the whole LDR issue on my mind. i still like her...and apparently she still likes me (we went out on sunday night after i got off work, and it was confirmed by our mutual friend that she still likes me)...but still, its weighing heavily on my mind. i know i should worry about other things, but i dunno, this is still on my mind. am i stupid for liking someone who lives so far away from me? how did i start liking someone so fast? i guess i fell into the trap that haunts everybody who is single and willing to mingle. but damn it, i do like her. somebody slap me! =p

but i guess life could be worse. my friend Rachelle from high school lost her father today when his truck fell off the coronado bridge. i remember seeing him around whenever i would visit their house during high school, before they moved to san marcos. we didnt talk much, but i do remember having a little chat with him when she had her debut party in her side yard for her 18th birthday. my condolences to the Casinio family for their loss. =(

ok...think happy thoughts...kinda hard to do that when so many things are weighing heavily on my mind right now. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =/

the next morning
and i feel like shit...time for work...another shit factor

stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =/

ok...maybe i should stop being so damn vague
but i wanna put this onto something so i can at least remember....and since i do not have a journal, i might as well use this place as my place to remember my life. fuck it, who cares if anyone reads this, i need a place to talk, and this will be it...

so for the past week or so, i have been seeing someone. the way it started out was not the way i would normally do things. well...when we first met, it was in october at friendship games. it was a quick introduction by a mutual friend...and i didnt think anything of it...i pretty much doubted that i would see her again since she lives up in norcal. so i continue on with life...and then one day she comes down to visit with our mutual friend. we meet up, and just chill with a bunch of people. the next day, she ims me and we chat online for awhile, and agree to have lunch together the next day. lunch happens, and we enjoy each others company. i then go to class, thinking "wow, what a cool person!" we meet up later that night, cuz i wasnt feeling my grad school applications. we chill, and we talk about random things. and i guess, we find out that we have feelings for each other. the week goes on, and we continue to see each other...and apparently we grow to like each other more (at least i do). the way i usually am is that i am careful about who knows what is going on in my love life. but yeah, some people start seeing us together. so yeah, things seem great and happy...only problem is, she's heading back north soon...and distance is a factor. I HATE LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS! but for some reason, i was willing to experiment with one. however, as we talked about it, and what to do next, i saw that an LDR is not what she could handle. so basically, after a long talk tonight...it for the most part...ended. i wasnt exactly too happy about this...but what else could i do? we're still friends (i think)...but the feelings are still there on both sides (so she says). i just wanna be happy damnit! so once again, i must move on with my life...life fuckin sucks!

i cant believe i just typed this all out...but i dunno...i tend to hold things in. and make it seem like everything is normal, and i prolly woulda held this all in if i didnt type it out. sometimes i wish i had an ATC to talk things through...damn, why do i have to be the ATC? where's my ATC when i need him? damn it jesson, come back to sd! =p

ok...enough of this, im heading to sleep forreals. stay tuned..we'll be back after these messages =/

i just love...
the way that life has a funny and great way of turning around and kicking you right in the nuts, right as it was seeming great. to what am i refering to? 2 things...for 1 of them, see the =( things in the 2003 year in review (no...nobody died, and it has nothing to do with school)...let's just say that things have a funny way of repeating themselves year after year. the other thing deals with my plans for work. am i feeling sorry for myself? maybe...am i gonna do anything about it? prolly not...im just gonna go to sleep now cuz life fuckin sucks right about now! GOOD NIGHT! stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =/

the last day of my last winter break at ucsd
is today. guess who had work today? yup, me. worked 1045-730. opened and closed macys. what a way to spend the last day of my break. oh well...school starts again tomorrow. i need 1 more week. another week and a half til ucla apps are due. do i still wanna go? 3 weeks til cset. am i ready? i just need to get through the month of january, and i should be ok. taking a leave of absence from apsa board for the month of january. must prepare myself for my future. what does my future hold? stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =/

angeli is now 1 year older...meaning she's OLD and 23! just thought i would share that w/ you, and say happy birthday too =p

2003 2004...HAPPY NEW YEAR!

stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =)

2003 year in review
so as 2004 comes in in like 5 hours, i think its time for me to give a brief review of the 2003 that just passed. being the optimist that i am, i will start with the bad stuff, and end with the good stuff. (note...much of this review comes from my archives, so if you want more detail, check the archives)

the =( stuffs
- the explosion of the space shuttle columbia
-single awareness day (aka valentine's day)...meaning my love life has sucked this year
-the first of my C's in my major (ehh...all the C's ive gotten in my major have been this year)
-the iraq war
-my brother eric's stroke
-students first getting screwed @ ucsd
-my brother eric's death 1 month after his stroke
-missing out on kp pilipino cultural celebration because of the funeral
-family bickering after eric's death
-catching up with school after the funeral (ie, 6 all nighters @ clics during spring qtr finals)
-somebody hitting my car while it was parked
-got sick in vegas
-missing jeff baker's going away party
-governator
-the death of joy de la cruz
-san diego on fire
-the death of one of my 2nd grade teachers (Mrs. Beverly Trust)
-30 1/2 hours straight being awake during fall qtr finals (2 papers=23 pages total, due 5 hours apart)

the =) stuffs
-dave n busters virgin no more
-the discovery of rei do gado
-my preuss school students
-APSA talent show
-APSA undergrad vs grad sports day, where the undergrads dominated (the next one will be the last time the undergrads win =p)
-pcc practices, and the community i felt while i practiced with them
-knight rider coming back on tv =)
-spring break in las vegas (last time eric and i spoke, & chillin w/ friends there)
-APSA Grad Banquet
-disneyland annual pass
-boogie boarding all summer
-san diego county del mar fair
-turning 22
-intersuite 450 (summer bridge 2003)
-the failure of prop 54
-friendship games (nuclear boobs, gay's island, dick's last resort, nutwood, siemens =p)
-finding a $5 bill @ regents parking
-APSA High School Conference
-bay area virgin no more
-a full family thanksgiving
-making money once again (through work...summer bridge & macy's)

as you can see, 2003 has been full of ups and downs. im sure there were more...im just glad that 2003 is over, because even though ive had more ups than downs, the downs seriously outweighed the ups. im just hoping the 2004 will be a much better year than 2003 has been...of course it will, im graduating!!! this just about summarizes 2003. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages < l =)

Home Alone
for the next 5 days...my dad went to las vegas for the week. i couldnt go, cuz i have work @ macys. so yeah, i have the place all to myself. who wants to party? as for new years...i have no idea whats going on. gimme ideas people...maybe i'll go to richard's thing @ his place...we shall see. other than that, hopefully some fun will come out of this week, since this is the last week that i have off before school starts again. yes, it is my last winter break of my undergraduate career @ ucsd..so sad, i guess. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =p

Merry Christmas Everybody!!!

hmm...should i blog?
i dunno...only if the demand for this blog is high enough...comment over there to lemme know if i should blog. yeah yeah, this is a shameless attempt to get comments over there, but it could also be used as an excuse for me since i really have nothing to blog about right now. but if the demand is high enough, maybe i can come up w/ something interesting enough for people to read and get their money's worth...but then again, you guys pay nothing to read my juicy tidbits of haloHalo happenings. haha...im gonna go christmas shopping right now...but while i'm away, comment over there ------------------------------->
and maybe i'll accomodate all y'all haloHalo junkies. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =p

workin
so as i have mentioned before, i'm working @ macy's. im actually somewhat enjoying it...and the people i work with are pretty cool. but the thing that is really getting to me is the music they play. since it's christmas season, of course they have to play christmas music over AND over AND OVER again! i blocked it out for awhile, but it just got engrained into my head that now if i hear any christmas song outside of work, i just go crazy. among the songs that drive me crazy are jingle bell rock, holly jolly christmas, and the worst of em all...LITTLE DRUMMER BOY. my coworkers and i want to kill the people who wrote these songs...or at least tie them to a chair, and play these songs to them non-stop for 8 hours.

we do get bored sometimes when it gets slow in the store. to pass the time while we're working, my coworkers and i analyze some of these songs. we have come to the conclusion that santa claus is a stalker (he knows when youre sleeping, he knows when youre awake), and a pervert (he knows when youre naughty) and he likes to make out with mom (i saw mommy kissing santa claus). oh yeah...and rudolph aint nothing without his nose and i have no idea what the lyrics to little drummer boy are, even though i hear it 6 times a day. ah...the joys of retail...and the christmas music that drive workers in retail crazy. ok...time to sleep so i can shop tomorrow morning and then go to work to hear more about santa's perverted ways...stay tuned, we'll be back after these messages =p

new layout
so i decided to put up a new layout...that last all black layout had been up for well over a year...i kinda got tired of it, and it kinda made my page look...well...black. it's not like i had anything else to do...i have pretty much finished my finals, except for my sign language finals. just look around...comment, and stuffs...im gonna go veg some more in front of the tv before i go to sleep. i got work @ macy's tomorrow...first day @ 12noon...stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =)

done
this weekend was a marathon writing session...i had a 12 page paper due, which turned out to be 18 pages (with the added figures and stuff that was needed for the paper, but not "graded) for hdp 191 and a 5 page paper for tep 117 that i hadnt read for. both were due today at 12 noon and 6pm. let's just say that i was up for 30 1/2 hours (between 12 noon yesterday and 630 tonight) with no sleep. but yeah i got it done...and came home and slept for 5 hours. im still a lil tired, but i didnt wanna go to sleep for the night just yet...so i got up and vegged in front of the tv. let's just say that it feels damn good to be done. well...im not completely done, cuz i still have my sign language conversation on weds, and a sign language final on friday...but that's pretty easy, so im not stressin, and im prolly not really gonna study...kinda nice that im taking that class pass/no pass...so technically i'm not done w/ school just yet, but pretty much, i'm free! training @ macy's tomorrow...maybe i should go to sleep now, so i can be fully fresh for that. peace and adobo grease...stay tuned, we'll be back after these messages =)

still awake
it's 430 in the morning, and i'm still awake and doing my 12 page HDP 191 paper. this thing is due in 32 31 1/2 hours! i've got the majority of it done...i guess that's cuz i locked myself in my office @ OASIS today from 2pm til OASIS closed @ 3am (with a few breaks here and there). even though i worked on it all day, i still got some stuff to polish up on it...i am determined to finish this paper before my head hits my pillow. that's cuz i got my 5 page TEP paper to do tomorrow, and that's due in 38 37 1/2 hours. so yeah, i got a lot more to do before i can finally relax. so what am i doing here typing this blog? =/

on another sad note...i just found out that one of my 2nd grade teachers passed away. i had 2 teachers who switched off during different days of the week to teach. Mrs. Beverly Trust died about a month ago from breast cancer at the age of 54. i dont remember everything that happened when i was a 2nd grader, but i do remember that i did like her as a teacher. i tell you, there are way too many deaths! stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =(

my final fall quarter
is now over...today (and yesterday) was hand clap day...meaning that there is no more class...only finals. for me, finals will come in the form of 2 papers...both due on monday. let's just day that i will be spending a lot of time staring at the screen this coming weekend. i am looking forward to monday night...yeah i have another final for sign language, but that is cake compared to the 5 pages i have to write for my TEP class, and the 12 pages for my HDP 191 class. yep, this weekend is gonna suck! on a side note...apsa stress relief is tonight @ the CCC, and xzhibit is performing for free at the price center tonight also. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =S