just a thought...why do people who im close to tend to include me in their good new last? i found out some good news about someone by reading someone else's xanga. she xangaed about it right after she found out...that was about an hour ago. and as of right now, i haven't heard anything officially. i thought we were very close, and would think that i would be one of the first to find out about it (at least before her, not that she should be at the bottom of the list), especially with the background that we have. i dunno...maybe i'm just overanalyzing it, but it does bother me. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =/
Monday, March 08, 2004
just a thought...why do people who im close to tend to include me in their good new last? i found out some good news about someone by reading someone else's xanga. she xangaed about it right after she found out...that was about an hour ago. and as of right now, i haven't heard anything officially. i thought we were very close, and would think that i would be one of the first to find out about it (at least before her, not that she should be at the bottom of the list), especially with the background that we have. i dunno...maybe i'm just overanalyzing it, but it does bother me. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =/
Thursday, March 04, 2004
oatmeal
is some mighty tasty stuff, especially the flavored ones...ok that was random. i will update y'all about what's been going on in my life, including the start of pcc 2k4, talent show, tagalog presentation, and the upcoming revelle semi-formal that i will be attending this coming saturday. but for now, i need to research atkin's diet stuff for my presentation in hdp 150 this coming monday. but for now i shall go finish my oatmeal and this research. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =)
is some mighty tasty stuff, especially the flavored ones...ok that was random. i will update y'all about what's been going on in my life, including the start of pcc 2k4, talent show, tagalog presentation, and the upcoming revelle semi-formal that i will be attending this coming saturday. but for now, i need to research atkin's diet stuff for my presentation in hdp 150 this coming monday. but for now i shall go finish my oatmeal and this research. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =)
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
from a high to a low
February 24, 2004
Dear Jeff Green III,
Thank you for applying to Teach For America. We greatly appreciate the time and
energy you have devoted to this effort. We regret to inform you that based on our
review of your application materials we are unable to invite you to interview.
We received almost 9,000 applications to Teach For America this deadline and
although we are unable to provide individualized feedback explaining admissions
decisions to each applicant, we can assure you that decisions are made as
judiciously and thoroughly as possible and that each application is read carefully.
While we would like to accommodate all interested applicants, it is not possible for
us
to interview all of the individuals that apply to our program.
We encourage you to pursue your demonstrated interest in expanding opportunities for
children and effecting social change. For those interested in pursuing other ways
to make a difference, we have posted a list of resources to consider on our website
at www.teachforamerica.org/documents/opportunities_for_change.pdf. Although this
list is by no means comprehensive, we do hope that it will serve as a useful
reference guide to help you explore other
ways to contribute to this effort.
We wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.
Sincerely,
Teach For America Admissions
my first rejection from a postgrad opportunity...and its not even the end of winter quarter. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =/
February 24, 2004
Dear Jeff Green III,
Thank you for applying to Teach For America. We greatly appreciate the time and
energy you have devoted to this effort. We regret to inform you that based on our
review of your application materials we are unable to invite you to interview.
We received almost 9,000 applications to Teach For America this deadline and
although we are unable to provide individualized feedback explaining admissions
decisions to each applicant, we can assure you that decisions are made as
judiciously and thoroughly as possible and that each application is read carefully.
While we would like to accommodate all interested applicants, it is not possible for
us
to interview all of the individuals that apply to our program.
We encourage you to pursue your demonstrated interest in expanding opportunities for
children and effecting social change. For those interested in pursuing other ways
to make a difference, we have posted a list of resources to consider on our website
at www.teachforamerica.org/documents/opportunities_for_change.pdf. Although this
list is by no means comprehensive, we do hope that it will serve as a useful
reference guide to help you explore other
ways to contribute to this effort.
We wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.
Sincerely,
Teach For America Admissions
my first rejection from a postgrad opportunity...and its not even the end of winter quarter. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =/
results
Test Date: 01/24/2004
JEFF D GREEN III
SAN DIEGO, CA 92126
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Examination: 120 CSET Science Subtest III: Biology/Life Scienc
Status: Pass
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Single Subject Assessments for Teaching and CSET examinations were developed
specifically for use in teacher credentialing. To preclude the use of Single
Subject Assessments for Teaching and CSET scores for purposes other than
credentialing (e.g., employment, assignment), scores of passing candidates are not
reported.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Note: Internet scores are unofficial and are not a substitute for an official score
report. Your official score report, which has been mailed to you, contains more
detailed diagnostic information about your performance.
so i passed the test! i didnt think i would pass it, but i did. i am now qualified to learn how to become a biology teacher. aint life grand? stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =)
Test Date: 01/24/2004
JEFF D GREEN III
SAN DIEGO, CA 92126
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Examination: 120 CSET Science Subtest III: Biology/Life Scienc
Status: Pass
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Single Subject Assessments for Teaching and CSET examinations were developed
specifically for use in teacher credentialing. To preclude the use of Single
Subject Assessments for Teaching and CSET scores for purposes other than
credentialing (e.g., employment, assignment), scores of passing candidates are not
reported.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Note: Internet scores are unofficial and are not a substitute for an official score
report. Your official score report, which has been mailed to you, contains more
detailed diagnostic information about your performance.
so i passed the test! i didnt think i would pass it, but i did. i am now qualified to learn how to become a biology teacher. aint life grand? stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =)
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
officially declared
that i'm graduating! i registered today after my sign language class, and it is official, i'm outta here in june (if my degree check goes through).
in other news...certain persons make me =) even after a month of =)'s im still enjoying
=)ing...will elaborate later cuz it's time to sleep. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =)
that i'm graduating! i registered today after my sign language class, and it is official, i'm outta here in june (if my degree check goes through).
in other news...certain persons make me =) even after a month of =)'s im still enjoying
=)ing...will elaborate later cuz it's time to sleep. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =)
Friday, February 13, 2004
Friday the 13th
so today is the taboo day...the day in which scary things are supposed to happen...a day that was made famous by the movie of the same name. nothing major to report so far of anything scary that happened. i guess the only things that i know that are scary thats happening today are my 2 quizzes (tagalog and sign), but they should be ok. i guess im a lil bit frustrated with tagalog...im getting it, but im getting it slowly. i feel like im falling behind while others are moving super fast. i really wanna learn it and do well in the class. im taking this class pass/no pass...but this class is different cuz i wanna do well. the reason why i took it pass/no pass is cuz i dont want this class to bring down my already low GPA. but i wanna learn this stuff, and i wanna know how to carry on a somewhat decent conversation. i also wanna make ginang nacu proud, just cuz she's pretty cool. i knew her only in passing before i took this class, but i feel she's like an "auntie" to me, even though she doesnt want us to call or refer to her as that. i just dont wanna let her (or my filipino half) down.
speaking of classes....i registered for classes for the very last time this (yesterday) morning. its weird to think that i will never register for another ucsd class again. I'M GRADUATING! now if only i knew what i was gonna do with myself after June 12, 2004...as well as other matters of the family that shall be mentioned at a later time, but not now.
so today (yesterday), Ellen-Mae and i went to fashion valley to buy something cool for someone cool =) and yeah...i dunno what i was gonna say...oh yeah i remember now...i think its cool how we keep in touch and chill more than we did before when she was with her ex. we've known each other since high school days, but never really hung out or talked that much cuz of the ex-factor. but now we hang out more, and she's a pretty good friend, and we've gotten to know things about each other that we wouldnt have expected. she even (re)joined APSA, increasing the representation of mira mesa high in APSA. i mentioned it to her, and she agreed. im glad we are able to talk more and help each other out with other aspects of our lives. she even helped me pick out that cool thing for that cool person...yep i got a girl's opinion, and hopefully "MeanButt" works to my advantage...she knows what im talking about ;)
ok...that whole last paragraph was random, but yeah i dont care...im tired of studying for tagalog...im going to bed. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =)
so today is the taboo day...the day in which scary things are supposed to happen...a day that was made famous by the movie of the same name. nothing major to report so far of anything scary that happened. i guess the only things that i know that are scary thats happening today are my 2 quizzes (tagalog and sign), but they should be ok. i guess im a lil bit frustrated with tagalog...im getting it, but im getting it slowly. i feel like im falling behind while others are moving super fast. i really wanna learn it and do well in the class. im taking this class pass/no pass...but this class is different cuz i wanna do well. the reason why i took it pass/no pass is cuz i dont want this class to bring down my already low GPA. but i wanna learn this stuff, and i wanna know how to carry on a somewhat decent conversation. i also wanna make ginang nacu proud, just cuz she's pretty cool. i knew her only in passing before i took this class, but i feel she's like an "auntie" to me, even though she doesnt want us to call or refer to her as that. i just dont wanna let her (or my filipino half) down.
speaking of classes....i registered for classes for the very last time this (yesterday) morning. its weird to think that i will never register for another ucsd class again. I'M GRADUATING! now if only i knew what i was gonna do with myself after June 12, 2004...as well as other matters of the family that shall be mentioned at a later time, but not now.
so today (yesterday), Ellen-Mae and i went to fashion valley to buy something cool for someone cool =) and yeah...i dunno what i was gonna say...oh yeah i remember now...i think its cool how we keep in touch and chill more than we did before when she was with her ex. we've known each other since high school days, but never really hung out or talked that much cuz of the ex-factor. but now we hang out more, and she's a pretty good friend, and we've gotten to know things about each other that we wouldnt have expected. she even (re)joined APSA, increasing the representation of mira mesa high in APSA. i mentioned it to her, and she agreed. im glad we are able to talk more and help each other out with other aspects of our lives. she even helped me pick out that cool thing for that cool person...yep i got a girl's opinion, and hopefully "MeanButt" works to my advantage...she knows what im talking about ;)
ok...that whole last paragraph was random, but yeah i dont care...im tired of studying for tagalog...im going to bed. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =)
Saturday, February 07, 2004
nothing really to talk about
but i just felt like blogging. i should be working on my hdp 150 midterm, but im not...hey, at least i started on the thing. more apsa talent show tryouts tomorrow, i can do some hw during the down time (hopefully). it feels good not doing anything APSA related for the past few days. i had mentioned before that last week, i did something almost everyday that was APSA related. so im kinda glad that i didnt go to APAAC today, even though i know its one of the better conferences that APSA goes to each year. i just wanted to do my own thing today...which i did...i went to the Pilipino library and museum downtown today. it was for my tagalog, but it was cool to go there and check out the pilipino artifacts and read a lil bit about the national heroes and key figures in pilipino history. i think tonight imma go watch You Got Served and kinda chill a bit, since i have to get up at the buttcrack of dawn for tryouts. ah well, its all good...i love talent show, it's what originally sucked me into APSA and how me and my ex got together...or at least started the process of getting together. this will be my last talent show as an undergrad, so im gonna soak it all in and enjoy it. it will be a great show...i think you should come out and see it.
UCSD APSA 9th Annual Talent Show
APIs in Motion (AIM)
Sun, Feb 29th, 2004
7p @ PC Ballroom
Tickets: $6 pre-sale, $10 at the door
yes a shameless plug...stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =)
but i just felt like blogging. i should be working on my hdp 150 midterm, but im not...hey, at least i started on the thing. more apsa talent show tryouts tomorrow, i can do some hw during the down time (hopefully). it feels good not doing anything APSA related for the past few days. i had mentioned before that last week, i did something almost everyday that was APSA related. so im kinda glad that i didnt go to APAAC today, even though i know its one of the better conferences that APSA goes to each year. i just wanted to do my own thing today...which i did...i went to the Pilipino library and museum downtown today. it was for my tagalog, but it was cool to go there and check out the pilipino artifacts and read a lil bit about the national heroes and key figures in pilipino history. i think tonight imma go watch You Got Served and kinda chill a bit, since i have to get up at the buttcrack of dawn for tryouts. ah well, its all good...i love talent show, it's what originally sucked me into APSA and how me and my ex got together...or at least started the process of getting together. this will be my last talent show as an undergrad, so im gonna soak it all in and enjoy it. it will be a great show...i think you should come out and see it.
UCSD APSA 9th Annual Talent Show
APIs in Motion (AIM)
Sun, Feb 29th, 2004
7p @ PC Ballroom
Tickets: $6 pre-sale, $10 at the door
yes a shameless plug...stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =)
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
the nipple seen round the world
did u see it? this was the topic of the day. yeah it "was an accident" but we all know it wasnt...even janet says that it was a last minute adjustment to the performance...to that i say...HOT DAMN! *the editorial of this post does not necessarily reflect the opinion of this blogger...ok maybe it does* but i'm not the only one who said that...even females said that too, so repeat after me...HOT DAMN! ok, i'm gonna go now before i get slapped. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =p
did u see it? this was the topic of the day. yeah it "was an accident" but we all know it wasnt...even janet says that it was a last minute adjustment to the performance...to that i say...HOT DAMN! *the editorial of this post does not necessarily reflect the opinion of this blogger...ok maybe it does* but i'm not the only one who said that...even females said that too, so repeat after me...HOT DAMN! ok, i'm gonna go now before i get slapped. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =p
no homework
i have no homework to do tonight...but for some reason i feel like i should be productive....like there's a void, and i should be doing something to fill it. i do have some stuff to do for later in the week, like a midterm for sign language, and several quizzes for that class, but there's not really any studying needed for it. i also have a take home midterm for hdp 150 that is being assigned on fri and due on mon. it's not gonna be that hard, but i will not be going to the APAAC Conference @ UCI this saturday that APSA will be going to because of it, and also since i have to be at round 2 of APSA talent show tryouts all day on sunday. speaking of APSA stuffs...i returned from my hiatus from board last week, and i feel like i took on too much my first week back...cuz almost everyday last week i did something APSA related, leading up to saturday w/ tryouts and the APSA retreat. i felt somewhat overwhelmed and tired by the time i got to retreat, which is why i only stayed there for an hour. im definitely gonna watch myself in terms of being too heavily involved in APSA. contrary to popular belief, i do have a life outside of APSA...and i am trying to graduate. but no matter what, i will always be there for APSA. alright...i think im gonna go do a lil bit of reading so i can feel somewhat productive. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =)
i have no homework to do tonight...but for some reason i feel like i should be productive....like there's a void, and i should be doing something to fill it. i do have some stuff to do for later in the week, like a midterm for sign language, and several quizzes for that class, but there's not really any studying needed for it. i also have a take home midterm for hdp 150 that is being assigned on fri and due on mon. it's not gonna be that hard, but i will not be going to the APAAC Conference @ UCI this saturday that APSA will be going to because of it, and also since i have to be at round 2 of APSA talent show tryouts all day on sunday. speaking of APSA stuffs...i returned from my hiatus from board last week, and i feel like i took on too much my first week back...cuz almost everyday last week i did something APSA related, leading up to saturday w/ tryouts and the APSA retreat. i felt somewhat overwhelmed and tired by the time i got to retreat, which is why i only stayed there for an hour. im definitely gonna watch myself in terms of being too heavily involved in APSA. contrary to popular belief, i do have a life outside of APSA...and i am trying to graduate. but no matter what, i will always be there for APSA. alright...i think im gonna go do a lil bit of reading so i can feel somewhat productive. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =)
Saturday, January 31, 2004
APSA Talent Show Tryouts
sitting here waiting for acts to try out for the talent show...and Ibsen is sitting next to me trying to send me "norcal" music. she's saying that i dont update this thing much any more, so this post is dedicated to her. right now she is standing in front of us on mohan's skateboard and wiggling back and forth. mizuki just climbed up on a table, but as she was attempting to table dance for us, she fell and tried to play it off like nobody noticed...but i noticed. Ian is sitting way at the end of the room doing his tagalog homework, which is what i should be doing right now. Mohan is grubbin on price center crap, Brian is passed out...Serey is bored looking, Joseph is doing his dance routine since i'm playing Aaliyah's "Try Again" on my computer as i type this... and Edsel is...well...Edsel is doing i dunno what. damn...i woke up too damn early to come here, 730am so i can get here by 8...what makes it worse is that i was up til 530ish...ah well, fun was had last night. ok...imma try to do some tagalog hw before the next act comes in to tryout. ehh...never mind, the next act just showed up. stay tuned...we'll be back ater these messages =p
sitting here waiting for acts to try out for the talent show...and Ibsen is sitting next to me trying to send me "norcal" music. she's saying that i dont update this thing much any more, so this post is dedicated to her. right now she is standing in front of us on mohan's skateboard and wiggling back and forth. mizuki just climbed up on a table, but as she was attempting to table dance for us, she fell and tried to play it off like nobody noticed...but i noticed. Ian is sitting way at the end of the room doing his tagalog homework, which is what i should be doing right now. Mohan is grubbin on price center crap, Brian is passed out...Serey is bored looking, Joseph is doing his dance routine since i'm playing Aaliyah's "Try Again" on my computer as i type this... and Edsel is...well...Edsel is doing i dunno what. damn...i woke up too damn early to come here, 730am so i can get here by 8...what makes it worse is that i was up til 530ish...ah well, fun was had last night. ok...imma try to do some tagalog hw before the next act comes in to tryout. ehh...never mind, the next act just showed up. stay tuned...we'll be back ater these messages =p
Monday, January 26, 2004
cset
so i took the cset test yesterday...a test that will determine my qualifications to teach a certain subject...in this case, biology. i dont think i did very well, a lot of the questions were very confusing to me. i admit that i should have studied a little bit more, but once again, it went down to proper motivation. i did not feel motivated to study much for this test...not that i didnt study cuz i did, i just didnt study a lot. but i dunno...i feel like a high school senior all over again, and my motivation is slipping. i still wanna teach, but im thinking now that i wanna teach history, since i have a lot of experience with it...i mean i am an ethnic studies minor (which deals with history)...so i think i may be better suited to teach that, and try to get students to think critically about things theyve been brainwashed to believe. Teach for America apps are due in 2 1/2 weeks...must get working on what i have left to do for it...trust me, i shall get this app in...i am motivated to at least try for it...we shall see where my teaching path will take me. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =l
so i took the cset test yesterday...a test that will determine my qualifications to teach a certain subject...in this case, biology. i dont think i did very well, a lot of the questions were very confusing to me. i admit that i should have studied a little bit more, but once again, it went down to proper motivation. i did not feel motivated to study much for this test...not that i didnt study cuz i did, i just didnt study a lot. but i dunno...i feel like a high school senior all over again, and my motivation is slipping. i still wanna teach, but im thinking now that i wanna teach history, since i have a lot of experience with it...i mean i am an ethnic studies minor (which deals with history)...so i think i may be better suited to teach that, and try to get students to think critically about things theyve been brainwashed to believe. Teach for America apps are due in 2 1/2 weeks...must get working on what i have left to do for it...trust me, i shall get this app in...i am motivated to at least try for it...we shall see where my teaching path will take me. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =l
Thursday, January 22, 2004
Monday, January 19, 2004
moving on
ive accepted it...time to move on. she went back up north, and i guess we just decided just to be friends. yeah im confused about the whole issue, but i guess its time to move on. no more dwelling on it...i should be thinking about other things. must do well in school so i can graduate...must get accepted into grad schools/programs...then i will think about a very solitary part of my life...my love life. yes it sucks...but hopefully i will survive. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =l
ive accepted it...time to move on. she went back up north, and i guess we just decided just to be friends. yeah im confused about the whole issue, but i guess its time to move on. no more dwelling on it...i should be thinking about other things. must do well in school so i can graduate...must get accepted into grad schools/programs...then i will think about a very solitary part of my life...my love life. yes it sucks...but hopefully i will survive. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =l
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
tired of feeling this way
ive had a lot on my mind lately. been thinking about my future, and what to do next after i graduate from ucsd. ive decided NOT to apply to ucla, for the simple reason that i'm not motivated enough to apply there...i guess its because the deadline just came upon me, right after the holidays...that and i guess i did not find out enough info for myself to be fully interested and excited about going there. i feel bad cuz the letters of recommendation i got for there are all going to waste. but no worries...i will apply to other schools, especially since their deadlines arent until may. but i have also been considering trying out Teach for America to see how that is. in addition, i'm kinda worrying about taking the cset on jan 24. i've been reviewing a few things for it...but still, i'm not fully motivated about taking it either.
work is another issue on my mind. i was not picked up by macy's to work there...i wanted to work there for a few months to make a few extra bucks, but their budget would not accomodate me working there...so as of this coming friday, i will be back to working 1 job...being an ATC...which is also endangered by cutbacks by the governator.
adding to all this...i still got the whole LDR issue on my mind. i still like her...and apparently she still likes me (we went out on sunday night after i got off work, and it was confirmed by our mutual friend that she still likes me)...but still, its weighing heavily on my mind. i know i should worry about other things, but i dunno, this is still on my mind. am i stupid for liking someone who lives so far away from me? how did i start liking someone so fast? i guess i fell into the trap that haunts everybody who is single and willing to mingle. but damn it, i do like her. somebody slap me! =p
but i guess life could be worse. my friend Rachelle from high school lost her father today when his truck fell off the coronado bridge. i remember seeing him around whenever i would visit their house during high school, before they moved to san marcos. we didnt talk much, but i do remember having a little chat with him when she had her debut party in her side yard for her 18th birthday. my condolences to the Casinio family for their loss. =(
ok...think happy thoughts...kinda hard to do that when so many things are weighing heavily on my mind right now. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =/
ive had a lot on my mind lately. been thinking about my future, and what to do next after i graduate from ucsd. ive decided NOT to apply to ucla, for the simple reason that i'm not motivated enough to apply there...i guess its because the deadline just came upon me, right after the holidays...that and i guess i did not find out enough info for myself to be fully interested and excited about going there. i feel bad cuz the letters of recommendation i got for there are all going to waste. but no worries...i will apply to other schools, especially since their deadlines arent until may. but i have also been considering trying out Teach for America to see how that is. in addition, i'm kinda worrying about taking the cset on jan 24. i've been reviewing a few things for it...but still, i'm not fully motivated about taking it either.
work is another issue on my mind. i was not picked up by macy's to work there...i wanted to work there for a few months to make a few extra bucks, but their budget would not accomodate me working there...so as of this coming friday, i will be back to working 1 job...being an ATC...which is also endangered by cutbacks by the governator.
adding to all this...i still got the whole LDR issue on my mind. i still like her...and apparently she still likes me (we went out on sunday night after i got off work, and it was confirmed by our mutual friend that she still likes me)...but still, its weighing heavily on my mind. i know i should worry about other things, but i dunno, this is still on my mind. am i stupid for liking someone who lives so far away from me? how did i start liking someone so fast? i guess i fell into the trap that haunts everybody who is single and willing to mingle. but damn it, i do like her. somebody slap me! =p
but i guess life could be worse. my friend Rachelle from high school lost her father today when his truck fell off the coronado bridge. i remember seeing him around whenever i would visit their house during high school, before they moved to san marcos. we didnt talk much, but i do remember having a little chat with him when she had her debut party in her side yard for her 18th birthday. my condolences to the Casinio family for their loss. =(
ok...think happy thoughts...kinda hard to do that when so many things are weighing heavily on my mind right now. stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =/
Sunday, January 11, 2004
ok...maybe i should stop being so damn vague
but i wanna put this onto something so i can at least remember....and since i do not have a journal, i might as well use this place as my place to remember my life. fuck it, who cares if anyone reads this, i need a place to talk, and this will be it...
so for the past week or so, i have been seeing someone. the way it started out was not the way i would normally do things. well...when we first met, it was in october at friendship games. it was a quick introduction by a mutual friend...and i didnt think anything of it...i pretty much doubted that i would see her again since she lives up in norcal. so i continue on with life...and then one day she comes down to visit with our mutual friend. we meet up, and just chill with a bunch of people. the next day, she ims me and we chat online for awhile, and agree to have lunch together the next day. lunch happens, and we enjoy each others company. i then go to class, thinking "wow, what a cool person!" we meet up later that night, cuz i wasnt feeling my grad school applications. we chill, and we talk about random things. and i guess, we find out that we have feelings for each other. the week goes on, and we continue to see each other...and apparently we grow to like each other more (at least i do). the way i usually am is that i am careful about who knows what is going on in my love life. but yeah, some people start seeing us together. so yeah, things seem great and happy...only problem is, she's heading back north soon...and distance is a factor. I HATE LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS! but for some reason, i was willing to experiment with one. however, as we talked about it, and what to do next, i saw that an LDR is not what she could handle. so basically, after a long talk tonight...it for the most part...ended. i wasnt exactly too happy about this...but what else could i do? we're still friends (i think)...but the feelings are still there on both sides (so she says). i just wanna be happy damnit! so once again, i must move on with my life...life fuckin sucks!
i cant believe i just typed this all out...but i dunno...i tend to hold things in. and make it seem like everything is normal, and i prolly woulda held this all in if i didnt type it out. sometimes i wish i had an ATC to talk things through...damn, why do i have to be the ATC? where's my ATC when i need him? damn it jesson, come back to sd! =p
ok...enough of this, im heading to sleep forreals. stay tuned..we'll be back after these messages =/
but i wanna put this onto something so i can at least remember....and since i do not have a journal, i might as well use this place as my place to remember my life. fuck it, who cares if anyone reads this, i need a place to talk, and this will be it...
so for the past week or so, i have been seeing someone. the way it started out was not the way i would normally do things. well...when we first met, it was in october at friendship games. it was a quick introduction by a mutual friend...and i didnt think anything of it...i pretty much doubted that i would see her again since she lives up in norcal. so i continue on with life...and then one day she comes down to visit with our mutual friend. we meet up, and just chill with a bunch of people. the next day, she ims me and we chat online for awhile, and agree to have lunch together the next day. lunch happens, and we enjoy each others company. i then go to class, thinking "wow, what a cool person!" we meet up later that night, cuz i wasnt feeling my grad school applications. we chill, and we talk about random things. and i guess, we find out that we have feelings for each other. the week goes on, and we continue to see each other...and apparently we grow to like each other more (at least i do). the way i usually am is that i am careful about who knows what is going on in my love life. but yeah, some people start seeing us together. so yeah, things seem great and happy...only problem is, she's heading back north soon...and distance is a factor. I HATE LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS! but for some reason, i was willing to experiment with one. however, as we talked about it, and what to do next, i saw that an LDR is not what she could handle. so basically, after a long talk tonight...it for the most part...ended. i wasnt exactly too happy about this...but what else could i do? we're still friends (i think)...but the feelings are still there on both sides (so she says). i just wanna be happy damnit! so once again, i must move on with my life...life fuckin sucks!
i cant believe i just typed this all out...but i dunno...i tend to hold things in. and make it seem like everything is normal, and i prolly woulda held this all in if i didnt type it out. sometimes i wish i had an ATC to talk things through...damn, why do i have to be the ATC? where's my ATC when i need him? damn it jesson, come back to sd! =p
ok...enough of this, im heading to sleep forreals. stay tuned..we'll be back after these messages =/
i just love...
the way that life has a funny and great way of turning around and kicking you right in the nuts, right as it was seeming great. to what am i refering to? 2 things...for 1 of them, see the =( things in the 2003 year in review (no...nobody died, and it has nothing to do with school)...let's just say that things have a funny way of repeating themselves year after year. the other thing deals with my plans for work. am i feeling sorry for myself? maybe...am i gonna do anything about it? prolly not...im just gonna go to sleep now cuz life fuckin sucks right about now! GOOD NIGHT! stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =/
the way that life has a funny and great way of turning around and kicking you right in the nuts, right as it was seeming great. to what am i refering to? 2 things...for 1 of them, see the =( things in the 2003 year in review (no...nobody died, and it has nothing to do with school)...let's just say that things have a funny way of repeating themselves year after year. the other thing deals with my plans for work. am i feeling sorry for myself? maybe...am i gonna do anything about it? prolly not...im just gonna go to sleep now cuz life fuckin sucks right about now! GOOD NIGHT! stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =/
Sunday, January 04, 2004
the last day of my last winter break at ucsd
is today. guess who had work today? yup, me. worked 1045-730. opened and closed macys. what a way to spend the last day of my break. oh well...school starts again tomorrow. i need 1 more week. another week and a half til ucla apps are due. do i still wanna go? 3 weeks til cset. am i ready? i just need to get through the month of january, and i should be ok. taking a leave of absence from apsa board for the month of january. must prepare myself for my future. what does my future hold? stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =/
is today. guess who had work today? yup, me. worked 1045-730. opened and closed macys. what a way to spend the last day of my break. oh well...school starts again tomorrow. i need 1 more week. another week and a half til ucla apps are due. do i still wanna go? 3 weeks til cset. am i ready? i just need to get through the month of january, and i should be ok. taking a leave of absence from apsa board for the month of january. must prepare myself for my future. what does my future hold? stay tuned...we'll be back after these messages =/
